Honestly, have you ever tried to do any of the things Martha does so easily? She's a flippin' genius. I wish I were half as domestically adept as she is. Of course, she makes her living being a domestic goddess and has done so for a billion years now, while I make my living doing attorney things, so I guess she has a leg up on me. I guess I just started down the path of becoming a domestic goddess. I still have a lot to learn.
For example, tonight I am making part of my contribution to Thanksgiving Dinner. This is the first year that I will make a significant culinary contribution to the family table so I wanted to make something delicious. The first recipe I chose is called Pumpkin Surprise Muffins. Part of the reason I chose this one was simply because it allowed me to use our shiny new Kitchen Aid Mixer for the first time! So I got home from the gym today and pulled out all of the ingredients and lined them up nicely on the counter. I double and triple check the recipe to make sure I've got everything I need. I pull out my shiny new mixer and caress it lovingly.
Suddenly I realize I have no idea how to use the darn thing. So I run to the office and rummage through our pile of user manuals for all our new gadgets. I finally find the mixer manual and scan through it. Clear as mud. Right.
It takes me nearly ten minutes just figuring out how to put the beater blade onto the mixer. It takes me another five minutes figuring out how to remove and the replace the bowl. Another three minutes pass before I figure out how to effectively place the pour guard plastic thingy on the bowl. By this time, my "melted" butter is boiling and my eggs are starting to grow salmonella.
Meanwhile, on another burner on the stove, my ground beef is beginning to burn (I had decided it would be a brilliant idea to make dinner while also making my muffins). So now I'm dashing around the kitchen trying to remember which ingredients are going in my muffins and which are going in the chili for dinner. And to top it off, every time I turn around Killian is lounging just under my feet and I almost trip over him and eat it at least three times. Lobster is doing what he can to encourage and inspire me by yelling, "You're pretty!" and "You're the best wife ever!"
Finally, I think I have everything in order as I shove the muffin tin into the oven and set the chili on simmer. I'm sweaty and exhausted and all I want is a shower and a glass of wine. And at this point I wouldn't be surprised if we end up eating pumpkin chili or cinnamon burger muffins.
Martha, I salute you.
