In honor of mine and Lobster's anniversary celebration commencing this evening, I thought it would be appropriate to tell you how we met. It was no ordinary meeting...in fact, we may never have met had it not been for the almost obsessive persistence of a mutual friend.
I grew up in the Houston area and moved to the Dallas area when I was 18. My parents and sister remained in the Houston area for quite a while after I high-tailed it out of there. Soon, though, my sister ended up going to the same college as I, and then a few years later my parents decided to move into the area as well. It was a family migration of sorts. However, while in the Houston area, my parents were heavily involved in the local Presbyterian church and made many very close friends with whom they're still very close to this day. One of those friends was named Mr. Matchmaker (clearly, that's not his real name, but go with me here). Mr. Matchmaker just happened to work with Lobster. This is where our story starts.
Throughout college I suffered my share (perhaps more than my share) of heartbreak. By the time my senior year rolled around and I had to decide where my life was going from there, I had made a conscious decision to boycott anything that had to do with men, relationships, love, etc. from my life for at least the time being. This decision was further solidified when I was accepted to law school and knew that for the next three years studying had to be my primary and sole focus. Sure, I dated a few guys here and there but I was notorious for saying adios after the first (occasionally the second) date. Over three years of discovering who I was, how strong I was, and what I wanted in a man, I had no time to waste on those who didn't make the cut. I was hardcore. And stubborn (still am, actually).
Anyhoo, while I was still in law school and my parents still lived in Houston, Mr. Matchmaker told my mom (many times) that he had found the perfect guy for me and that we should exchange email or meet the next time I came home for a visit. My mom passed on the idea to me, which I flatly rejected. First, I told her, not even I know who the perfect guy is for me, so how can a friend of the family who hasn't even spent much time with me? Second, I continued, I am not interested in dating someone who doesn't live in the same city and whom I've never met or even spoken with in real life. Third, I concluded, I don't have time to get involved with anyone right now. So, thank you very much, but no.
Nevertheless, Mr. Matchmaker decided to work his idea from a different angle. He went to Lobster and told him he'd found a great girl for him and he should try to look me up on MySpace (I know. Ick.). Apparently, Lobster was unsure of this idea as much as I was but decided to give it a shot. He found me on MySpace and wrote me a nice little message. Of which I have no memory because I arbitrarily deleted it. I was not one to read messages from men I didn't know. Lobster still gives me a hard time for that.
Anyway, after my lack of an enthusiastic response, Lobster gives up and so did Mr. Matchmaker...but not for long.
A year and a half passed and Mr. Matchmaker had come to visit my parents at their new place in a brand new neighborhood with a beautiful golf course amidst acres and acres of untouched land. One of my family's favorite things to do when people come to visit is to drive them around the back roads looking for wildlife like deer, wild turkey and coyotes. On this particular occasion, we decided to take my dad's truck. My sister, Mr. Matchmaker and I piled into the bed of the truck to better enjoy the cool night air and get a better view of any wild creatures we came across. Of course, instead of looking for wildlife, Mr. Matchmaker begins trying to convince me to meet Lobster again. I listened and nodded politely and tried to explain that I had no desire to be set up with some random guy who lived in a different city (even though I was having no luck in my own city). By the end of our conversation, I felt that the matter was closed.
It wasn't.
Mr. Matchmaker enlisted my mom to go behind my back and pass along my email address to Lobster. Again, Mr. Matchmaker approached Lobster with my email address and told him to email me. Lobster, being a kind soul and not one to disobey his elders, politely stated that while he had no hopes of hearing back from me (again) he would try one more time and if I rejected him (again) he didn't want to hear anything more about me. Mr. Matchmaker understood and agreed to Lobster's terms.
Several days after scheming with Mr. Matchmaker, my mom, who can't keep a secret to save her life, admitted to me her part in the evil plot. Needless to say, I was not pleased. She told me that she had passed on my email address as well as a few choice bits of information about me (I love to travel, I love Scotland, I love to write, dance, read, etc.) to give him a "good start" for his email. How nice of you, mom.
Days later, on July 7, I did receive a very nice email from Lobster, who, lo and behold, also loved to travel, read, etc. What a surprise! I thought to myself. Knowing that my mom had passed along such information, I was certain that Lobster's email was carefully crafted to cater to my interests and thus make me ooh and ahh over how wonderfully we'd get along. I was not going to fall for it. I did not respond to the email.
A day or so passed and I mentioned the email to my mom. I told her it was very nice, but clearly catered to my interests because of what she had just happened to pass along to Mr. Matchmaker. She then told me that Mr. Matchmaker never told Lobster anything about me other than my email address. I was suspicious at first, but I knew my mom wouldn't lie to me. All of a sudden, Lobster's email took on an entirely different light. It was genuine. And he was interesting. And we had lots in common.
Crap.
That night I spend a good hour or so crafting my response. I was nervous and had made up my mind that all we would be was friends because I still didn't like the thought of dating someone who lived so far away.
But over the next few weeks, Lobster and I formed a friendship through novel-length emails and hours-long phone conversations. We talked about everything, including all the hard, scary stuff that people put off talking about until well into the relationship. Neither of us wanted to play a game and had decided early on that we were going to be completely ourselves and completely honest with each other. It was a good decision because we were able to get to know each other very well before we even met.
About a month after that first email, Lobster made the drive to Dallas to take me on our first date. We went to a lovely restaurant in Addison where we had the best steaks either of us have ever had. After dinner we went dancing and had a few drinks. He was a perfect gentleman and did no more than hold my hand and give me a nice hug at the end of the evening. I went home feeling hopeful for the first time in years that maybe, just maybe, there was a guy out there for me.
My resolution to remain "just friends" was shattered that evening and I am so grateful that Mr. Matchmaker, as crazy and obsessed as he seemed at the time, listened to his instincts to help two people looking in all the wrong directions, find the path that would lead them to one another.
So, thank you, Mr. Matchmaker. Lobster and I will raise a glass to you this weekend as we re-visit the restaurant where we first came to the shocking realization that you were right all along.
Oh, she's purty!
So, we've been testing out names. I suggested Polly the Polar Bear or Stella the Swan (it's a white car, people!). Nothing really seemed to fit just right.
