Thursday, February 14, 2013

Happy Valentine's Day!

 Love, the Munchkin

Monday, February 11, 2013

New Mommy Must Haves


One of the most overwhelming things for me when I was pregnant was trying to figure out what baby and/or mommy gear I was going to need. I read article after article and blog after blog trying to figure it all out. Let me save you some time: no one can tell you what you're going to need for your baby. Unfortunately, you will just have to make some educated guesses because what you decide you'll need will invariably change once your little bundle arrives!

But, for those of you who like to do your research, like I did, I'll share with you what I have found most useful these past three months. And I've added some cute, albeit irrelevant, pictures because that's what I do. =)

1. BECO Baby Carrier -- We started out using a Baby Bjorn but it killed my back. I also read that the Bjorn was not that fantastic for babies because of the way they sit in the carrier can cause hip problems. The BECO has a wider seat for the baby and a thick band that sits on your hips, taking a lot of the weight of the kid off your back. This carrier was a godsend for us because Munchkin has reflux and needs to be carried upright much of the time.

2. Woombie -- My kid is Houdini. Every swaddle garment we've put her in, she's managed to bust out of. It boggles our minds. So when I saw that the Woombie had no arm holes whatsoever, I knew I had to give it a shot. So far, we love it. She still struggles to get her arms out but the swaddle effect of the Woombie is very soothing for a fussy newborn.



3. Infant Optics Video Monitor -- Freedom! We didn't get the monitor for a while because I thought I only needed one when Munchkin started sleeping in her room. I guess I didn't realize that a newborn will nap much of the day and if I wanted to get anything done, I'd need to keep an eye on her via a monitor. I did a lot of research and this monitor got the best reviews on Amazon and is surprisingly affordable.

4. Kiinde Kozii Bottle Warmer -- I wanted to find a bottle warmer that would heat up breastmilk without destroying the nutrients. This warmer is made specifically for breastmilk.

5. Medela Pump in Style Advanced Breast Pump -- I'm not the biggest fan of pumping because it's a pain in the ass but I knew I wanted to build up a stash of breastmilk for times when the hubs and I wanted to go out and leave Munchkin with a sitter. This pump got the best reviews and it really is easy and portable.

6. Lansinoh Nursing Pads -- If you dislike the idea of being covered in milk all the time, invest in several boxes of these babies. I leak. A lot. These keep me from having constant wet spots around my boobs all the time.


7. White Noise Application and/or Portable Sound Machine -- I can't stress the awesomeness of white noise enough! It has been a life saver, especially with a fussy/colicky baby. We have the Sleepy Sounds app on our iPhones and we use it several times a day. We also bought a portable sound machine that we can take in the car or put in her crib. Seriously, white noise is a miracle.

8. Glider -- Combine the motion of a glider with the white noise machine and you've got yourself a recipe for a sleeping baby! Munchkin is almost always soothed by this magic combination. I bought my glider on Craigslist for a mere $100. There's no need to spend a ton of money on one since you'll probably only use it when your kids are tiny. I encourage getting one off Craigslist or from a friend.

9. Pack n Play -- This thing is awesome for many reasons. We used this by our bed in the early weeks. Now it's in the living room where it functions as a play area and a nap area. When we travel to see grandparents, we take this with us and it serves as her crib.



10. Puj Tub -- Makes bath time so easy. Munchkin bathed with me the first few times so we could get her accustomed to the ritual. Now we bust out our Puj, plop it in the bathroom sink and bath time is done in 15 minutes. Munchkin loves it.

11. Stroller -- In order to retain your sanity, get yourself a stroller. Being cooped up in the house all day with a tiny bundle of need is enough to drive anyone crazy. After several weeks of slowly going crazy, I finally drummed up the courage to put Munchkin in the stroller and go for a walk. It felt so good! Now it's a daily activity that I eagerly look forward to. I got a Jeep jogging stroller at a garage sale while I was still pregnant. Strollers are ridiculously expensive; look for a good deal on Craigslist or garage sales.


12. Gumdrops Pacifiers -- Add this to the glider + white noise recipe and you've got a happy baby! We love these paci's because they have a round "nipple" (better for breastfed babies) and there's a notch at the top that still allows tiny mouths to suck while keeping tiny noses free to breathe. We don't go anywhere without her paci now!

What do you think, mommies? What else have you found that you can't live without?

Monday, February 4, 2013

Motherhood: the Good, Bad and Ugly


Have you ever noticed how our culture seems to paint the business of motherhood as all sunshine and roses? Beautiful, happy mothers nuzzling chubby, rosy-cheeked babies while cooking dinner with one hand and knitting a sweater with the other? Ever wonder how true to life that lovely image is?

I'm here to tell you: our culture is delusional. Motherhood looks nothing like that in real life. Especially new motherhood. But you know what bothers me the most?

No one talks about it! WHY?!


It has been nine weeks since the birth of my first daughter. I love her dearly. I wouldn't trade her for the world. But I'm just starting to fall in love with her. *GASP*

Are you shocked? I was too. When we brought Munchkin home from the hospital I went through a disbelief phase. A few days where I asked myself, "What is this baby doing here? What am I supposed to do with her?" But we were so sleep deprived and shell shocked that for the first couple of weeks we kind of just went through the motions of feeding her, changing her, snuggling her, putting her to sleep. Rinse. Repeat.

But then the third week hit. Oh, boy, did it hit. HARD.

Munchkin started screaming and there was little we could do to make her stop. She wouldn't sleep during the day except for 20 minutes here and there. Night sleeping was better but only because she slept thisclose to me in our bed, which meant I didn't sleep. My nipples were cracked and bleeding and every feeding was toe-curling painful because we still couldn't get her to latch on correctly. To add on to all of that, I got hit with Postpartum Depression but I refused to admit it.


Throughout all of this, I couldn't help the "unmotherly" thoughts that were running through my head. Things like "this was a horrible mistake," "can we take her back to the hospital," "I'm not cut out for this," "maybe I wasn't meant to be a mother," "how will I ever survive this." I told my husband I felt like I was in mourning: for our old life, for what we had been as a couple before the baby, for being able to worry about myself and no one else. I told him I felt overwhelmed and very, very sad. He encouraged me to talk to our midwife and tell her how I was feeling. We had been told to watch for signs of depression and he felt that we needed to check in with her. But, still, I refused.

Finally, after a night of trying to soothe an inconsolable screaming baby, my husband found me rocking our newborn while sobbing uncontrollably. Great, heaving sobs. He had heard me from across the house and come to check on me. He came to me and laid his hand on my shoulder. He knew there was nothing he could say. There was nothing that needed to be said. "I can't do this anymore," I choked out between sobs.

My husband called our midwife the next day. He broke down on the phone as he described watching his strong, capable, tough-as-nails wife falling to pieces before his eyes. They conspired to set up a meeting for me to talk to my midwife the next day. At the meeting, she convinced me that my "baby blues" had become much more than just a bit of sadness and that it was important for me to get some help. We discussed my options and as much as I hated to do it, I chose to go on anti-depressants for as long as it took to get me over this hump. My midwife assured me that I could still breastfeed and that I wouldn't have to be on the drugs longer than necessary. She also encouraged me to reach out to other moms or to ladies at my church and start building a support network of women to talk to. Both my husband and I left that meeting emotionally spent but daring to see a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel.

At first I felt ashamed that I was suffering from PPD. I felt that I was weak or incompetent and should have been able to handle this stressful time better. I started to do a little more research on PPD while Munchkin napped and came to realize that PPD is far more common than anyone talks about. In fact, it is suspected that many more women suffer from some degree of PPD than the statistics show because women are afraid to admit it, just like I was. I started looking into reading books on the subject and found a serious lack of published information, at least in bookstores or on Amazon. The one book I did find and read (and was so grateful for) was Down Came the Rain by Brooke Shields. Finally, another woman whose post-partum experience was something I could relate to! The feelings she described having were so similar to my own that it was eerie.

I wanted to read more, but there is very little out there and that made me angry. Angry because I knew from experience how isolating and scary and shameful and awful PPD was but no one was talking about it. Why not? Why was it the norm to just ignore this all too common affliction when it would be so much more helpful to every mommy out there to talk about what she's going through and know that she's not alone? Who decided that silence was order of the day for a subject that needed, more than anything, to be discussed?

So I decided that I would not be silent. I would not be ashamed. I would tell anyone who asked, "So how are you doing?" the truth about PPD and how it sidelined me. I would speak up for myself and other mommies out there so that maybe another mommy who met me would realize that what she's feeling isn't abnormal or shameful. I want other mommies to know they are not alone. I want to remind myself that I am not alone.


I have only been on the medication for a few weeks now but I can already tell a huge difference. I still have days where I feel sad or panicky. I still cry a lot, but it's becoming less and less every week. I have forced myself to reach out and join a women's Bible study on Tuesday mornings (childcare included!) and go to play dates with a young mommy group on Friday mornings. Being able to get out of the house and talk to other ladies who are going through the same life phase has been so helpful.

And finally, finally, I am able to start feeling a deep love for my daughter. Slowly, as the medicine works its magic on my chemically-addled brain, I am able to stop feeling like someone just handed me a baby and start feeling like Munchkin was destined to be my baby.

Now, I am taking it a day at a time. And while I would love to tell you that motherhood is all sunshine and roses like the movies make it out to be, I would be lying. But the days are getting sunnier and every now and then I get a whiff of a fresh rose. For now, that's good enough for me.


If you think you are suffering from Postpartum Depression, DO NOT WAIT TO GET HELP. Seek medical advice as soon as possible. You can also find support through this website. You are not alone and you do not have to feel this way!

Thursday, January 24, 2013

The Munchkin's Birth Story, Part 2

To read Part 1 of my birth story, click here.

Of the things I remember, the car ride to the hospital is etched clearly in my mind. It was one of the most painful experiences of my life. I was having contractions one on top of the other and my body was telling me to push but I knew that I couldn’t. I had gotten to the point where I couldn’t help but yell at the top of my lungs every time a contraction washed over me. I felt horrible for my bleary-eyed husband who could hardly see the road he was driving on because of lack of sleep. It was the longest and most painful car ride of both of our lives.

We finally arrived at the hospital and got set up in a room in Labor and Delivery. They told me I had to sign a bunch of paperwork and they had to draw blood to do lab work before they could administer an epidural. I tried to concentrate on what I was signing; there were certain things I knew I did not want to consent to. They had to stick me three times before they could get an IV needle in my arm. All in all, it took an hour and a half for them to finally get me the epidural I so needed, but when I finally did, I was able to sleep for two hours. Even after all of that, I kept being awakened by searing pain in my left hip; evidently, the epidural didn't take fully on my left side. Also, what I didn't know while I slept was that the nurses had told my husband that since the epidural was only working on one side and because my baby's heart rate dropped with the administration of Pitocin, they might have to put me under to do a C-Section. That was my worst nightmare. For whatever reason, however, the OB/GYN and nurses decided first to try to let me push.

A nurse woke me up around 3:00 a.m. on Thursday morning. She told me it was time to push. I said no. She insisted, sat me up and prepped me and the room for the pushing phase. She turned down the epidural drip so that I could feel the contractions in order to push and we began. There was a mirror at my feet so that I could see the progress I was making. Even though I was exhausted and not thinking too clearly, I remember asking for random things that I knew I wanted: delayed cord clamping, no Vitamin K, skin to skin and breastfeeding immediately after birth. I suppose I felt I had to do something to protect my baby when she was born since it was happening in an environment that I had not chosen and that, frankly, scared me. I knew there were many things I could not stop from happening at a hospital birth, but I was damn well going to make certain that I controlled what I could!

After about an hour and a half of pushing, the doctor came in. I knew I must be making progress if he was there. I continued to push for another 45 minutes or so when all of a sudden, it seemed, my baby girl’s head was finally coming. I watched as her face emerged and then her shoulders and finally the rest of her body slid out of me. All of a sudden she was on my chest and I sobbed as I held her. I couldn’t believe it was finally over; she was finally here and I was a mom.

 Our little girl was born at 5:40 a.m. on Thursday, November 29, 2012. She weighed 8 pounds, 7 ounces and was 21 inches long. I later learned that the doctor had to manipulate her head in order to get her through. I also learned that I had a 2nd degree tear. I didn’t care; I was just relieved that I was able to deliver my baby vaginally and that she and I were healthy.

 Of course, having to be transferred to the hospital was not my plan for having my baby. I wanted a completely un-medicated, completely natural birth center birth. I wanted to have her in the water. I wanted so many things to be different. But I know that my husband, my midwife, my doula and I did every single thing we could do to make that happen, and yet my body, for whatever reason, did not want to cooperate. I also know that after 40-plus hours of hard labor, I had to admit that I was too tired to go on without any help and I am certain that I made the best choice that I could make at the time.

Although we did not want to have our baby in the hospital, the experience we had at the hospital we were transferred to was truly the best experience we could have hoped for. All of the nurses and our doctor respected our most important wishes about how the birth and postpartum care would be handled. They did not make us feel silly or stupid for making the choices we made and they were very helpful in getting us out of the hospital as quickly as possible.

So while I can’t write about the ideal birth story that I had planned for my daughter, I am confident that everything happened the way it was meant to and that the most important things, mine and my daughter’s safe delivery and good health, were first and foremost on everyone’s mind and that we all did what was necessary to have a successful, healthy birth. For that, we feel blessed and grateful and, of course, happy to welcome our beautiful daughter into this crazy, unpredictable world!

Thursday, January 17, 2013

The Munchkin's Birth Story, Part 1

Late in the night of November 26, 2012, I awoke from a very uncomfortable pain radiating from my lower back and into my hips. Thinking it was my normal nightly hip pain, I tried to ignore it and go back to sleep. Despite my best efforts, about every 15-20 minutes I was rudely awakened by the same pain. After several hours, I admitted to myself that I may be in early labor. My first clue had been earlier that day when I was using the restroom and noticed that I may have lost my mucus plug. I didn’t know for sure; after all, I’d never had a baby before, how was I supposed to know what a mucus plug looked like? But now with the somewhat regular bursts of back pain, I was pretty convinced that my labor had started so I opened my handy contraction timing app on my iPhone and started timing the pains.

Several hours passed and it was finally morning. When my husband woke up I let him know that I thought I was having contractions. Much like how he responded when I told him I was pregnant, he said, “Uh…what?” and then promptly jumped out of bed. After I assured him that the baby was not coming anytime soon, we tried to go about our normal morning routine while also preparing to head to the birth center later in the day. Being the Type A, slightly crazy person that I am, I decided that morning was the perfect time to finish making my DIY baby wipes and make a lasagna for freezing. So I spent Tuesday morning in the kitchen cooking and cleaning, taking frequent breaks to lean against the kitchen island and time a contraction.

As Tuesday progressed, so did my contractions. By mid-afternoon, we contacted my midwife and doula to let them know what was going on. By my description of the contractions and how far apart they were (still between 8 and 10 minutes apart but getting stronger), they agreed that I was still in early labor and that I should just continue to do what I was doing and keep them updated. By that night, the contractions were becoming less “uncomfortable” and more “painful” but they were only coming between 5 and 7 minutes apart. We called the midwife again and she suggested that I have a glass of wine and take a bath so that I could try to get some sleep that night. We followed her instructions and the bath felt wonderful. My contractions slowed down considerably and I was able to relax a bit. I hoped that I’d be able to get some sleep so that I could continue to labor in earnest the next day. Unfortunately, as soon as I got in bed, the contractions intensified again and I knew very shortly that there would be no sleep for me that night.

I moved into the living room and lay on the couch, hoping to give my husband an opportunity to get some rest. Of course, he couldn’t let me labor alone so he sat up with me for several more hours timing contractions and trying to keep me as comfortable as possible. Throughout the night we were updating our midwife and doula and by around 2:00 a.m. on Wednesday morning, our doula arrived at the house. Within the hour, we decided it was time to head to the birth center where we met our midwife.

 Although much of what happened over the next 24 hours is a blur to me, luckily my doula took excellent notes of what occurred. My contractions continued to be about 5-6 minutes apart and by 5:00 a.m. I was only at 5 centimeters and it appeared as though the baby had moved into a posterior position. At that point our focus became getting baby back in a good position so I began walking and lunging and we did a couple of rebozo sifting and belly lifting sessions. By my next vaginal exam at 8:45 a.m., my midwife noticed scar tissue on my cervix (from a LEEP procedure a few years ago) and that my cervix was starting to swell on the left side. By 10:00 a.m. my contractions had slowed to around 10-12 minutes apart and another vaginal exam showed no change in my cervix. After a series of homeopathic remedies to try to intensify my contractions again, they revved back up to being around 5-6 minutes apart and by 3:00 p.m. my cervix had dilated to 7 centimeters. Needless to say, I was exhausted, hungry (I hadn’t eaten anything but fruit and Gatorade since Tuesday night), and starting to lose hope that my cervix was ever going to cooperate.

Indeed, by 5:15 p.m., another exam revealed no change in my cervix. At this point, my husband and I discussed our options with our midwife and doula. After praying about it, we decided to try breaking my water, hoping that the increase in the intensity of contractions would help my cervix to dilate the rest of the way. Immediately after breaking the waters, my contractions became extremely intense and very close together. I continued to labor under these intense contractions for the next five hours until another vaginal exam revealed that my cervix was still only 7 centimeters dilated. At this point, I had nothing left. I was sobbing between contractions and I knew that I needed help to get this baby out. As much as I wanted my daughter to be born at the birth center, I knew I could no longer take the pain and physical exertion on no sleep and very little to eat. My husband and I decided it was best that we go to the hospital so we all packed up and headed out.

To read Part 2, click here.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

The Munchkin

She's here! Our little bundle of love was born on November 29 at 5:40 a.m. weighing in at 8 pounds, 7 ounces and 21 inches long. And let me tell you, getting her out was the hardest thing I've ever been through...but that's a story for another day.

Yes, I do realize that it's been nearly 7 weeks now...I'm a new mom, give me a break! I'll be posting her birth story soon, but here are a few pics for now!





Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Adventures in Chicagoland


A few weekends ago, Lobster and I hopped a jet plane and flew to the Windy City for a few days of family reunion-ing (a wedding) and sightseeing. Being 8.5 months pregnant at the time, Lobster and I were a bit nervous to take such a big trip, but we'd been reassured (numerous times) by our wonderful midwife that everything would be fine. And it was! And it was so much fun! We definitely needed the mini-vacation.

Of course, I don't go anywhere without my ginormous camera strapped around my neck. Here are some of my fave photos from our fun trip.


The first day we were there we toured the cute little town of Naperville. Many of my family lives in or near Naperville but I'd never explored the downtown area. One of the highlights of Naperville is their beautiful riverwalk. Lobster and I must have walked a mile or two both ways on this riverwalk and we enjoyed it thoroughly.







The second day, we only had a few hours before the wedding so we went to the town where I was born, Geneva. I fell in love with this little town and would move there in a heartbeat if I could! Surprisingly, I did not take any pictures of Geneva. I guess I was having so much fun that I just wanted to be in the moment. But there was a fantastic little windmill just outside town that we stopped to snap some pictures of.


Our third day was spent exploring the big city. This was the toughest day for me physically because we walked A LOT and I was lugging a large purse and my ginormous camera. But we had a great time and I loved seeing all the "touristy" landmarks you always see/hear about. The "bean" was one of our favorite destinations. We were able to meet up with my sister and her hubby for most of the day, so it was fun being silly tourists with them!












Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...